My Brown Horse

 I know I titled this My Brown Horse and it would lead you to believe I have an actual brown horse. I do not. I have never owned a horse. I've ridden a horse a handful of times and most of those times were disastrous. Once was pleasant with my brother in the mountains of Colorado.  So why title this My Brown Horse?  Funny thing, I have had a recurring dream/vision of a brown horse over the last few years.  It first started on a mission trip in Bulgaria and Macedonia.  I saw a brown horse facing me, looking at me as if to say something to me, penetrating my soul with it's beautiful ebony eyes.  And then, it was gone. No one else saw the horse, just me.  Others were there, but I was the only one to see him. He was just a regular horse, but somehow beautiful and unforgettable.  If my memory serves me right, that was 3 years ago.  

The other night, my brown horse appeared in a dream.  This time he ran right up to me and breathed his breath right into my nostrils which I thought that was what I was supposed to do to let a horse get to know me.  Anyway, after he did that and looked deeply into me, he ran off with a glance over his shoulder as if I was to follow him.  I tried to follow him but suddenly there were many horses racing with cowboy type riders. I was searching for "my" horse among them. I thought I found him, but was wrong. It was another's horse.  These racing horses were racing top speed but ironically in a circle and apparently going nowhere.  My horse, however, I recall had veered off to the right away from the race. Yet, I could not find him.

 I did find a pale horse to  mount and slowly and rather sadly meander toward the direction of the brown horse.   Again, why am I compelled to write about my brown horse?  I can't get him off of my mind. It is a stronger impression than when I first met him in Bulgaria.  I find there is an embedded message for me and maybe for others as well.

Imagery is powerful in dreams and visions.  I know God is the only one who can interpret these things for us.  My understanding to this point is the brown horse is a symbol of strength, freedom, humility and being grounded.  I hope that is accurate. PERHAPS THAT IS WHAT I AM SEARCHING.  Somewhere in my soul I am needing to know that I am strong even though I feel so weak. I am free even though sometimes I feel trapped by circumstances. I am humble even when I know my pride wants to act as though I have it all together. I am grounded even though I can't determine one thing that is going to happen from day to day. 

I think My Brown Horse is a reminder that those attributes are still near. They aren't found in a horse or even a vision.  But they are found in Jesus Christ.  He is my strength when I am weak.  He set me free and put my feet on a rock. He is humble and true. He lives in me so I have all of his attributes inside of me, I just have to remember.  I don't have to find a horse to race around in a circle with the rest of humanity...going nowhere without a purpose.  I just have to keep my eyes on my Brown Horse who reminds me I have everything I need inside to go the distance with him. I will seek where he leads because I believe he will lead where Jesus is leading. Places I have yet to see. Places of new freedom, new strength, new life, new purpose, NEWNESS OF LIFE. 

It's easy to forget. It's easy to get lost. It's easy to let go of the truth that keeps me grounded. I repent for losing sight of the truth. But because of Jesus I can be just like that ordinary brown horse...ordinary me, free, strong, humble, kind, and set apart from the crowd.